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Famous Quotes on Sex

From everyone from Steve Jobs to Tom Clancy to Woody Allen

" My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading."
- Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
- Lynn Lavner


"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
- Sharon Stone

"Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love."
-Woody Allen

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
- Robert De Niro

"Women need a reason to have sex Men just need a place."
- Billy Crystal

" Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet."
- St. Augustine

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
- Dustin Hoffman

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
-Tom Clancy

" You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
- Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
-Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
- George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
- George Burns

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
- Jack Nicholson

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
- Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
- Roseanne


"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
- Jerry Seinfeld

"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."
- Woody Allen

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
- Robin Williams

"My family never raised me to have a vagina."
- Roseanne

"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."
- Aldous Huxley

"Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
- George Carlin

"Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven."
- Mark Twain

"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other."
- Jane Austen

"Sex concentrates on what is on the outside of the individual. It's funny because I think it's better inside."
- Alex Walsh

"When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows."
- Frederike Ryder

 
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