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‘Worst Hollywood Movies’


Being  movie enthusiasts many of  usually take a look at the film reveiws of the best movies. Guess what - this time it's not the best but the  reveiws of the most rotten movies is what you're going to get to read here on enasha.  This article ‘The Worst of the Worst Pictures’ by Jeff Giles, is an interesting read on the worst movies of Hollywoodf and we couldn't help but bring it here for you to enjoy.


Rank 10 - Half Past Dead

It could perhaps be considered unfair to make fun of a movie starring Ja Rule, Nia Peeples, and a 10-years-past-his-prime Steven Seagal -- but when you consider the investment capital, not to mention the countless hours of innocent crewmembers' lives, that were wasted on "Half Past Dead" when they could have been spent on other, better films, a few insults seem like the least this movie deserves. For a minute, at the dawn of the century, it looked as though Seagal -- who had discovered the magic of starring opposite rap stars whose acting skills were even more limited than his own -- was about to mount a mini-comeback. "Half Past Dead" killed that comeback, making it, in a weird way, almost worth the effort it took to make the film. Almost, but not quite.

Rank 9- The Master of Disguise

Poor Dana Carvey. His "Saturday Night Live" bits remain some of the funniest in the show's history, yet his post-"SNL" years have been spent wandering in a vast, terrifying, creative wilderness. Carvey battled his way back from a life-threatening health scare before filming "The Master of Disguise," which probably gave him the added perspective necessary to deal with the reams of negative reviews that followed. It's tempting to miss Carvey, and to wish he'd make more movies, but watching -- or even thinking about -- a movie in which the erstwhile comedian plays a character named Pistachio Disguisey makes it easier to resist that temptation. Fare thee well, gentle funnyman -- at least we'll always have "Na ga da it."

Rank 8- Twisted

Director Philip Kaufman ("The Right Stuff") had Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia, and Ashley Judd to work with in "Twisted"; unfortunately, he also had Sarah Thorp's painfully inept script. The plot is too stupid to discuss in-depth here -- suffice it to say Judd is a cop with daddy issues, Garcia's her partner, Jackson's her boss, and any of them could have been told by your average freshman community-college film student that "Twisted" wasn't worth making. It's the type of movie that calls itself "Hitchcockian," but the only thing it has in common with the deceased director is their shared lack of a pulse.

Rank 7- National Lampoons Gold Diggers

In 1989, with the release of "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," many believed the folks in charge of the National Lampoon brand had completely lost sight of what had once made its movies such dependably lowbrow fun; sadly, compared to what the company has released in the intervening years, "Christmas Vacation" looks like a modern classic -- and "National Lampoon's Gold Diggers" might be the worst of the lot. Directed, scripted, and acted with all the flair of an in-house corporate sexual harassment video, "Gold Diggers" doesn't even have the decency to be indecent -- its jokes aspire to Farrelly-level offensiveness (and humor), but have been shoehorned into a PG-13 film. The result is a gelded mess that's worse than unfunny -- it's dull.

Rank 6- Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

The first "Baby Geniuses" movie, as we've already noted, starred Kathleen Turner and Christopher Lloyd; for the sequel, the makers of "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2" somehow acquired the services of Jon Voight, thus indirectly proving the existence of photos Voight will clearly go to extreme measures to keep under wraps. Would that someone had only gone to the same kind of trouble to keep this pus-oozing sore of a film from reaching wide release, the world would be a better place. Unless, that is, you're actually curious to see Oscar-winner Voight, hamming it up in a hideous German accent, getting defeated by a kung-fu fighting toddler. Call the "Baby Geniuses" series "The Anti-'Godfather.'"

Rank 5- "King's Ransom"

"King's Ransom" grossed roughly five times its box-office take as a rental title; unfortunately, that quintupling still only amounted to just over $15 million. Even taking into account the friends and extended families of the cast and crew, that means a puzzling number of people willingly paid good money to see Anthony Anderson mug it up as a loathsome philanderer in a film consisting almost entirely of coarse stereotypes and third-grade humor. P.T. Barnum famously noted that a fool and his money are soon parted; at least once a year, a film is released with what seems to be the sole purpose of irrefutably proving him right. In 2005, "King's Ransom" was that movie.

Rank 4- Pinocchio

It's altogether likely that there have been more sudden, precipitous falls from grace in cinema than the one Roberto Benigni suffered between "Life is Beautiful" and "Pinocchio," but none spring to mind. In any event, this film undoubtedly marks the first (and last) time an Academy award-winning actor chose to follow the greatest triumph of his career by dressing up in pink pajamas and playing a boy carved from a log. Atrocious dubbing compounded the movie's problems for American audiences, but no matter which country you were unfortunate enough to see it in, "Pinocchio" featured a 50-year-old man in the title role.

Rank 3- Crossover

Director Preston A. Whitmore -- whose way with a lens last brought you 1994's "The Walking Dead," perhaps not coincidentally also at 0 percent on the Tomatometer -- turns his singular focus to pickup street basketball in this tale of two friends from Very Different Backgrounds who discover, through streetball, that they…well, we wouldn't want to spoil it for you; suffice it to say that copious amounts of Wayne Brady are crucial to the plot. Draw your own conclusions.

Rank 2- Alone in the dark

Ah, yes, Uwe Boll. You knew he had to make more than one appearance on this list, didn't you? But let's be reasonable -- it stands to reason that pretty much any director given the task of lensing a horror-film videogame adaptation with Christian Slater and Tara Reid in the lead roles would wind up with a stinker on his hands. On the other hand, a more distinguished filmmaker might have been able to wring a redeeming quality or two out of this wretched script and these ill-cast actors. Not Boll. "Alone in the Dark" revels in its utter lack of entertainment value. Perhaps the only person who might have actually enjoyed this movie was Denise Richards, here surpassed by Reid as the least convincing scientist in film history.

Rank 1- Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever


Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas are opposing super-deadly secret agents who team up to take down the corrupt head of their agency in order to save a young boy who has been injected with a deadly weapon/virus thing -- sounds like a can't-miss setup, right? Well, you might have thought so if you were one of the folks responsible for this mess, but predictably, audiences were not fooled -- "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever" elevated "universally panned" into an art form. Or at least something more closely resembling art than this muddled mess of an action film. When a movie is widely regarded as being inferior to its own Game Boy adaptation, you know "worst movie ever" is not only apt, it might actually be an understatement.

 
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