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Are you ready for sex?

How you know when the time is right?
This is something only “you” can answer. It might be a one-night stand, or with someone whom you’ve been dating for ages. But are you ready for it? Or is it just the peer pressure that you’ve been going through? Being a virgin is not a badge of shame! Sex is not a compulsory subject and if you are not ready for it; that is entirely your personal decision.

In every case, however, it helps if you share trust and respect with your sexual partner. Knowing when the time feels right is a personal choice, whether you're in a relationship or up for something more casual.

Ultimately, what matters is that you know how to wait until you are ready and make things safe when that time comes. Whatever the experience, whether you're left feeling loved up or less than impressed, it means at least you won't have any regrets.

So how can you be sure that you're ready? Whether you're a virgin, a die-hard romantic or a porn star, the most important thing is to be safe and feel happy with your situation. Admittedly there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex and relationships, but there are ways that you can feel more confident about the choices you make.

Here are some signposts to help you make the smart move in deciding whether first time sex is for you.

You know what consent is all about
Whoever you're with, it means any kind of sexual activity has to be a joint agreement - something you both consent to rather than something you are doing just because you feel you should.

You understand the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
Crucially, before sex becomes a reality, you should have taken steps to protect yourself. Get to grips with the different contraceptive methods available that guard against unplanned pregnancy. Just be aware that condoms are the only form of contraception that can stop pregnancy and sex infections.

You're cool about carrying condoms
Whatever your outlook or experience of sex, even if you're still a virgin, it's always wise to be prepared. Nobody will assume you're expecting sex. If anything, having a condom at the ready simply shows respect for yourself and whoever you might strike lucky with.

You can talk about sex
Not just with your mates, but the person you're thinking of sleeping with. The closer you are to each other, the easier it is to talk openly. Don't duck out of the conversation if sex is on the cards with someone new - if anything, it makes that chat more pressing.

You can talk about feelings
Sex isn't just a physical act. A level of emotional intimacy and trust is involved whether you're in a long-term relationship or not. So be clear about your feelings and expectations, and negotiate boundaries. It won't guarantee that the sex will be mind-blowing, but it will minimize the chances of feeling let down and used later on.

You're happy to seek help and advice 
 There's no need to pretend you know it all, and if you're considering sex for the first time it's only natural to have questions. If those questions can't be addressed with your partner, put sex on hold and find out together. It's better to wait until you're ready, than to rush in, simply hoping for the best.

Are you actually ready for it? Seek the answer within yourself and then make a smart move!


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