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Do more than just advising your teen

Ever tried giving advice to a teen? They listen with one ear and blow it out the other.
“Do you get what I’m saying?”
“Uh huh, yeah sure.”
Teens today know it all, or at least they think they do. “Think” in fact is a milder word to describe it. A more appropriate word would be “cocky”.

As a parent you try to give the best to your child, to protect him from mishaps and mistakes. You know it is your duty and a part of your love for him. But he won’t even listen to your advice. If only there was a way to let him help you. If this is the case with you and your teen, you could do with some advice yourself.

Put the blame your teens overactive hormones or simply being caught in between childhood and adulthood, but unless your teen wants to, he’s not going to listen to a single word he hears from you. There’s a way to get your message across - Don’t give him your advice!

As strange as it may sound, when you give advice your teen, he misinterprets it as you exercising your control over him. Instead, simply let him feel like you are handling over the control to him by letting him make his own decisions. When he learns to accept control over his actions, overtime, the weight of the responsibility will open him up to any advice you have. Even then do not give him your advice unless he asks for it. Ask him if he needs any advice but if he says “No, thank you”, then refrain from giving him any. Instead ask him what he plans to do about the particular problem. If he doesn’t have any idea at the moment, the question will get him thinking.

Draw the attention of your teen to his strengths and qualities. Make him feel important, confident and capable of making the right decisions. This may take time and result in a number of mistakes, but be patient with his progress. Also take the time to listen to your teen. Sometimes it takes more of listening and less of talking to win the other person into your way of thinking. In the end you will have achieved more than just getting your kid to heed your advice. You’ve helped him to make better decisions on his own!

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