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Inside a jerk’s confused head

-Shanti Gurung

A friend of mine was dating this guy and it looked as if both of them were getting along pretty well. She would often tell us what a gentleman he was, and it was only apparent the guy was really into her. Unfortunately, the fairytale didn’t last more than a month. We were dumbfounded when she confided to us that they didn’t have a proper breakup, he had simply disappeared. It was just a series of unreturned phone calls and flaking on plans for a while and poof! He just disappeared. It took quite sometime for our friend to recuperate, we had to remind her she was an attractive, confident and smart woman which, was no lie by the way. But soon after, all out of the blue, one fine day, he called her. He apologized and asked if they could start all over. She was speechless yet she was so head over heels into him that it only took seconds for her to get back to miss sunshine. As much as we were happy for her, we were skeptical too. And we were right.

She was asked if she wanted to start all over, only to find out he’d be missing after a week. This is what we call the ‘sane woman meets the insane man’ phenomenon. A million of other confident, successful and attractive women go through the same ordeal, on falling for some guy not worth the drama. It’s easy to accuse women and their tastes, but on better understanding, it’s the jerk and his issues. The reason a guy pulls the disappearing act is simple- although he likes you; he’s not really into you. He acts like a gentleman (women beware!) and does all that he can to seem flawless in your eyes. But he’s just keeping his options open. Once he knows you have feelings for him, he will not feel the slightest guilt taking advantage of it. He knows you’ll be there to answer his calls, accept his apologies come what may and basically massage his ego. For treating you like a doormat, (think cute, lovable handy ol’ Betty) you need not waste any more time trying to figure out what’s going on inside his confused head. Get rid of him and anything that has got to do with him- from his calls to his caller ID, to the extent you get rid of thoughts of speaking your mind to him. Yes, that is hard to resist, but he evidently isn’t worth the fight.

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